I hear a lot of people throwing around the word toxic. But the simple truth is just because you don’t like someone doesn’t make then toxic. And if we’re honest we all show some unhealthy, and selfish qualities.
I’m not saying that there aren’t people in this word that are untrustworthy or narcissistic or just not very nice people. But for the most part people have empathy and do feel bad when they hurt others.
We all have been less then decent people even horrible friends at some point. So what separates an average person from a toxic one? And why does it matter?
I’ll start with the second question. If you’re walking around calling everyone toxic you better believe someone’s saying the same thing about you because that’s life. So being understanding forwards others allows room for others to be understanding forwards you. Also when you run into an actually toxic person the word will still ha e meaning and potency. When you over use a word it looses it’s power.
Now how to spot a toxic person? There are a few things. Toxic people
- Usually blame others for everything that goes wrong
- If they do accept blame they either laugh about it like their proud or they say the story in a way that makes people feel bad for them
- They want to take credit for everything that goes right
- They pretend they know and care about what all their friends are going through
- Which means they don’t have much if a filter, sharing things that they shouldn’t to people they might have only met(but not their own buisiness)
- They expect you to always drop what your doing to either entertain them or do them a favor
- When you expect the same from them they’re usually busy
- When you try to set boundaries or confront them they lash out in anger
- Or when you confront them they blow you off like it doesn’t matter
- They excuse their behavior by saying “I had a bad day.” Or your over reacting.” “I didn’t say thay.” “I didn’t mean it in that way.”
Beware of people that completely ignore your feelings and your input. At the same time understand that people aren’t perfect and neither are you. Do you exhibit toxic behavior? Do you expect more from people than you’re willing to give? If so beware because people will get fed up with your behavior and you’ll be truly alone.
I’m an aspiring cognitive therapist that currently works as a child care provider.