That’s a question I’ve been asked numerous times. And the first thing I tell them is everyones different and everyone has different goals. For some healing is their goal. For some it’s happiness. And sometimes it’s peace of mind. Having a different goal adjusts priorities. Not prioritizing healing may look like resistance to some when actually its just not the first thing on that persons list.
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But then there are others who truly are resistant. Fearful even of what moving on may look like. Moving on can mean alot of things. And with healing comes a slightly different you. Which is scary.
When you’re healing from a traumatic experience some survival modes kick on. If on long enough alot of your personality is built on your personal survival tactics. So it’s a part of who you are. In order to heal those parts of you will change, will grow into a healthier self view and/or a healthier view of others. But that means giving up some parts of you that you’re used to. Parts of you that others are use to. And even parts of you that you’re proud of.
So then they may think. What if I don’t like the new me? Well the goid news is we humans are good at overcomming our instincs and natures. We’re good at making our own self image and bettering ourselves. The first thoughts you may have on a topic is your default setting. But you can decide, no I’m not going to think like that. And if you do that often enough your default will change. You’ll be one step closer to becoming who you want to be.
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I’m an aspiring cognitive therapist that currently works as a child care provider.