I was talking to someone close to me. And they shared a very interesting feeling. They told me that change for them felt like a fake identity, like a mask they were just going to take off when it became inconvenient. Maybe some of you also feel that way. This post might be for you.
People change everyday. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes not so much. And I believe we can all rewire our brain to think and act how we want. But first we have to make new habits. Mold our default setting. But that takes courage, but that’s only half the battle.The rest is persistence and consistancy.
But how do you change your default? How do you step outside your own personal normal. To become a new you. The answer, action, and choice. Now action is not the root of who you are, but is only a symptom. But its usually easier to start with the symtom before focusing on the cause. So the first thing to do is change what you’re doing. Change your actions, your choices. Even if your doing good for the “wrong reasons” you’re still doing good and that’s a start.
Right now what are the actions you take? What leads up to you making the choice to do things you no longer want to do? And how hard will it be to alter those actions? To do something else instead?
Maybe you’ve come to the realazationa that you tend to project you anger on the people you love, and their not the ones that made you angry? Maybe that is hurting your relationships. But how do you change that? With your choices. With your actions. If you know your irritated after work, try to calm yourself before going home. Take some extra time in your car. Go run an errand if that will help. If you can’t do those things then find out who and what made you angry. Tell that person directly. If you can’t then share your anger your friends and family instead of taking it out on them. Day by day, slowly your habits will change, but only if your mindful and purposeful.
You want to change? You want to get better? You have a goal? Here is the hard news. You must live purposefully. You have to pay attention. Otherwise life is going to make you and mold you. You have to live focused. Pay attention to your thoughts and fix them. Think about how you think. Live on purpose, everyday. Your new good actions aren’t a mask, theyre a new habit. Little by little, day by day, they become your new default setting. Go for it. You got this.
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I’m an aspiring cognitive therapist that currently works as a child care provider.